By popular demand, here is the tale of the time that I found Jesus and he showed me the way... To the bank.
|He said to go thataway.|
Undaunted, we race for the military post in our town, where the branch bank will be open for another precious thirty minutes. Neither of us knows exactly where the gate is, but we eventually make our way onto post through an unmanned gate which neither of us has ever seen again. (Now, if any of you know anything about military posts, you'll know that post-9/11, there are NO unmanned, open gates onto post, but somehow we found one.) We spend the next ten minutes driving around post, frantically looking for the bank, only to find ourselves in an area with lots of tall, nondescript buildings and no signs. We nervously surmise that this is because if you have any business being in this part of post, you should already know the purpose of said buildings.
We're debate about calling someone for directions, but all of our friends have pretty much unilaterally decided to never, ever give us directions. (We never understand them and it all ends in tears.) While we're running through the list of names, we drive by the area that's popularly known as the 'Lemon Lot', because it's a vacant lot where GIs park their 'For Sale' vehicles, and see a guy in fatigues inspecting a vehicle. I yell at her to pull in, because maybe this guy can give us directions. (Sucker!) She executes a perfect, three-point turn - in the middle of an intersection - and turns into the lot. We roll down the window, and ask the guy for directions. He smiles at us - perfect teeth - and points into the horizon.
"You see that red roof there?" He has a slight accent. It's pretty sexy.
We see it in the distance, surrounded by treetops and outlined by the bright rays of the setting sun. We nod, silently in awe that we've been this close the entire time.
"That's the bank." he said. "If you take this exit out of the lot and go forward, then make a left at the light, you'll slide right into their drive-through."
We look at one another and back at this gorgeous soldier - blue eyes - because, miraculously, we understand his directions perfectly. She rolls up the window as I wave goodbye, no time even to say thanks or ask for his number. As we speed away, I notice the name on his BDUs.
And that's the story of the time that I found Jesus and he showed me the way... to the bank. :D