The Darndest Things

Mike: I'm going to wear socks and shoes, so I don't get a fungus.
Me: That's smart.
Mike: I hate funguses. I saw one once; it was huge.
Me: Where did you see that?
Mike: In my dream. It was above an elephant.

I think this whole line of thought stems from our conversation about athlete's foot, lol.

The Darndest Things

Me: Angel, you have two choices: you can work on fractions or clean your room.
Angel: Those are terrible choices!

My kid has first world problems.

The Darndest Things

Ike: Look at my puzzle!
Me: You are so smart, Isaiah!
Ike: I know that already.

Of course he does. :P

The Darndest Things

Mike: I got $5 for my tooth last night!
Ike: You mean like dollars that you can buy things with? The green ones?

The Darndest Things

Me: When we get to Nana's, we need to be as quiet as mice because Papa Jim's asleep.
Angel: But mice aren't very quiet. They go squeak, squeak, squeak! You should tell us to be as quiet as ninjas, instead.

The Darndest Things

Ike, while playfighting with Chad: "A nipple-twister is not 'appopiate'."

Kid's got a point there. :)

The Darndest Things

Mike just had a bike accident and scraped his elbow up pretty badly. When it happened, a passer-by helped him up and he was telling me about her, because he wanted me to absolve him for speaking with a stranger.

Mike: She was like you, Mom.

Me: Oh, she was an adult?

Mike: No, I don't mean she was old like you. I mean she was short.

The Darndest Things

Me: So... what's the name for the book with all of the words and their definitions in it?
Isaiah: A booktionary!

The Darndest Things

Me, to an Isaiah that I'm holding captive and tickling: You can get down, you know.

Isaiah, 4, struggling: Apparently, I cannot.

The Darndest Things

Isaiah, age 4: Mom, can I watch an appropriate show?
Me: Like what?
Isaiah: Blue's Clues!
Me: What's appropriate mean?
Isaiah: Things that are okay for me, like not adult shows.

My kid is a genius. :)

The Darndest Things

Angel, while heading to bed: Sleeping Beauty doesn't want any calls.
Me: What does that mean? You don't want to be woken up?
Angel: Yes. Unless it's almost after breakfast.
Me: Don't wake you up, unless you're about to miss breakfast. Got it.
Angel: Or if something cool is going to happen. Or if Micheal is watching D. Gray-man.
Me: Okay, then.
Angel: Or, you know. If the TV is on.

The Darndest Things

Isaiah, after dancing to Glee's rendition of Born This Way: "Did you like my dancing? I'm going to be a disco-man when I grow up."

The Darndest Things

Me: When you're older, we'll dissect animals for science.
Angel: We've already dissected a squirrel.
Me: When did we dissect a squirrel?
Angel: The day I shot it.

O.o

This is what we're talking about when we say homeschool happens everywhere and everywhen.

The Darndest Things

Angel, while wire weaving: This wire is like the ring in that movie.
Me: Yeah? How so?
Angel: It has a will of it's own.

The Darndest Things

Ike: Daddy, do you remember when you said that bugs were protein?
Chad: You didn't eat a bug, did you?
Ike: [Long pause.] Micheal ate a bug, too!
Mike: I didn't eat bugs! I only ate an ant!

...The hilarious thing is that he's right. Ants aren't bugs. :P

The Darndest Things

So it snowed, the kids' went out to play, and they all got a little snow-blind. They came in at different times and had hilarious things to say:

Isaiah: Why is it so pink in here?
Micheal: Woah! Everything's green!
Angel: It's red in here. No, purple!

The Darndest Things

Ike, to Mike: If we had camels, and we were in the desert, we could race!

The Darndest Things

My older children - Angel, 9 and Micheal, 7 - spent a good deal of time arguing yesterday. Normal, right? Except they were arguing about which was bigger - space or numbers. They eventually concluded that numbers were bigger, because numbers are definitely infinite and space is only possibly infinite. I ♥ them so much.

Homeschool Joke

Q: How does a homeschooler change a light bulb?

A: First, Mom checks out three books on electricity out of the library, then the kids make models of light bulbs, read a biography of Thomas Edison and do a skit based on his life.

Next, everyone studies the history of lighting methods, wrapping up with dipping their own candles.

After that, everyone takes a trip to the store where they compare types of bulbs as well as prices and figure out how much change they'll get if they buy two bulbs for $1.99 and pay with a five dollar bill.

On the way home, a discussion develops over the history of money and also Abraham Lincoln, as his picture is on the five dollar bill.

Finally, after building a homemade ladder out of branches dragged from the woods, the light bulb is installed.