The Darndest Things

After a lesson on New Years customs around the world (with a focus on Rosh Hashanah), my Sunday school kiddos resolved to clean their rooms, be kind, stand up to bullies, win video games... and write a book. These kids, yo. They're awesome. ♥

The Darndest Things

Isaiah: "Google doesn't know every little thing!"
Mike: "Oh, it does."

The Darndest Things

Ikeisms from Today:

"I wish all phones were free, except iPhones. I don't like iPhones."

"Micheal, you are a clean, clean, eating machine."

"Mom! Mom! Mom! Does your phone take DVDs?!"

The Darndest Things

Me: I really want this toaster + egg cooker combo.
Angel: But you already have one.
Me: What?
Angel: Me and Micheal! He makes great toast and I make great eggs. If you make bacon, then that's a thing.

The Darndest Things

I vaguely heard Mike and Ike arguing this morning. After a moment, I realized that they were discussing the idea of an afterlife, and Isaiah was arguing on behalf of Valhalla, as described to him by his dad.

Ike: If you die with a sword, you go to this little place where you get eat and drink and then eat and drink again and it keeps on going until someone kills your soul already, and then it happens again, because having your soul killed makes you hungry.

The Darndest Things

Mike: Was 1995 so long ago?
Me: In 1995, I was your age.
Mike: Whoa. That was a long time ago.
Angel: I thought you were born in 1995?

The Darndest Things

Micheal has taken to singing his science and history reading passages out loud. Remarkably, he's remembering what he reads when he sings it. :D

The Darndest Things

According to Isaiah, parents cease to have birthdays when they have children. That would be too silly. :P

The Darndest Things

Mike: [after picking out a pink owl notebook] They're just peaceful. I'm actually just a peaceful man.

The Darndest Things

Mike: How old is Grandpa Doc?
Me: 88.
Mike: So he almost lived in the time of Thomas Jefferson?
Me: No, there was like, 100 years between Jefferson's death and Doc's birth.
Mike: Really? He looks pretty old, though.
Me: *dies laughing*

The Darndest Things

Me: Isaiah, we're going to work on an alphabet book in just a minute.
Isaiah: But the school day is over!
Me: Nope! Never over. And you got to play your game this morning, so turn it off and we'll work on this.
Isaiah: No, I want to play.
Me: Did you tell me no?
Isaiah: Um, I meant please.
Me: I'll bet. You know, with this book, you get to cut and glue things.
Isaiah: Oh, one second! I have to kills some guys. I'm going to defeat them.

The Darndest Things

Me: You need a haircut.
Isaiah: No, I want to grow a wig like Daddy!

The Darndest Things

Mike: And in that movie, they fed a pig bacon!
Me: So? Bacon is good.
Mike: Mom! They fed a pig bacon!
Me: I'd feed a pig bacon.
Mike: But that's cannonballism!

The Darndest Things

Me: Remind me to get some coke.
Mike: [pause] For a second, I thought you meant cocaine.
Me: Yes, Micheal, I did mean cocaine.
Mike: What?!
Angel: Micheal, she's joking.
Isaiah: Obviously.

The Darndest Things

Micheal: Did you know there's a country called chicken?
Angel: No, it's called Turkey.

The Darndest Things

Isaiah: Give me back my sonic screwdriver!
Angel: ...I don't know where it is.

The Darndest Things

Isaiah: You are mean.
Stacy: Is that why you keep asking to stay another night?
Isaiah: I stay for the food.

The Darndest Things

Mike: I have a rock-hard head. Like a Capricorn. Or a mountain goat.

The Darndest Things

The babysitter relayed this story from Saturday:

Mike: My mouth feels like Vietnam.

[Several minutes later.]

Mike: The Vietnam War.

Isaiah: I don't think there are snakes in your mouth.

The Darndest Things

Me: Well, I guess I'm just mean.
Isaiah: You are mean! You're so mean! You're definitely so mean that I can't even understand you!
Me: *giggling and typing*
Isaiah: Are you typing that on Facebook?